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There is no timeline to grief. Each journey is unique.


Two months before my Ryan died, my sister lost her husband, also Ryon, to cancer. We were at the cemetery looking at the plots our family had purchased when I told her I was afraid we would bury the “Ryan’s” first. 

We are both grieving now. But not the same. When you lose a friend, it is very hard. When you lose a parent, it is very painful, it’s devastating, but you expect to lose your parents before you die. It is the natural order of things. If you lose your spouse, again it can be devastating. Your spouse may have been your soul mate, your best friend... you may never again find someone like that - but you know there is an opportunity to find and love again. When you lose a child... there is nothing to compare the pain and devastation of losing a child.

My personal grief journey continues and will for as long as I live. I found and joined many grief groups on Facebook. These are private groups that allow you to journal how you are feeling while helping you understand that what you are going through is normal. You might be surrounded by support but feel alone in your grief. Being part of a group of moms or parents or others that understand what you are going through makes a huge difference. There are groups for every type of loss. This might also help you. I have also bought many books on grief. These are great resources to help you understand that what you are feeling is a normal part of grief. It is also critical to seek medical assistance if you feel you are unable to move forward in your grief. Get a physical. Be gentle on yourself. Take care of yourself. Grieving is one of the hardest things to do. Find a counselor or in the least a friend who will just listen. The things that I have done for my grief are working for me. I am not a medical professional and I am not recommending that what works for me will work for you. It is hard work to grieve.

Grief comes in waves. At first, the waves are 10 seconds apart and swallow you. It may take weeks, maybe months, for the waves to become smaller, further apart.

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